Dress Up Disaster Down

Ever get the urge to dress up and get gussied up but you have no where to go? Well that is me. Tonight anyway, I am sitting here blogging about the depressive social life I have and watching Kitchen Nightmares. I love the show; I hate the people on it MINUS Gordon Ramsay. He is amazingly talented and I think these ungrateful people should be excited that he has saved them from bankruptcy and homelessness.

Well, I have lost my "appetite" for writing tonight. Hopefully I will get it back.

Good Night Speak Up and Stay Strong

When the Blind Lead the Blind.... Get Out of The Way

I realize I haven't posted in a while and I sincerely miss getting my "retarded" and slightly cynical views out for everyone to see.

I have dyed my hair again. Not that anyone cares. It is Burgundy right now. I love the color. It is so fun and colorful. I lack any sense of witty grammar at the moment. 

God, my feet are so sore right now. I have been running errands like a mad woman today. With two separate friends, but thank sweet baby Jesus, we got them all done. I am so exhausted... So I pose a question for anyone that actually gets this far in the blog. What is the weirdest errand you have EVER had to run with a friend that did not directly impact you?

Feel free to add comments for your answer!

Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up 

It only takes a Moment to Realize a Lifetime

There are some things in this world that are beyond words to describe their amazing impact on your life and I would like to share one such thing that happened to me today:

I had a woman today who called at the center and I talked to her so long... She has been a huge inspiration for me. She suffers from several chronic diseases and is handicapped to a chair and has had to fight so hard to get disability. She had to hire a lawyer just to get it and then is having help from a disabled community program to get her a motorized chair. I spoke with her while fighting back the tears as I realized that despite everything I go through, it could always be worse. She was so amazing and her daughter, at 17, took care of her and her mentally handicapped brother. The woman had so much trouble with getting some tylenol delivered after a she got a package and it was all smashed and the pills where scattered everywhere in the box. I took care of her, free shipping, expedited to her home, in hopes that FedEx would be more careful than UPS. She was so strong. And she was worried about me~! I told her how wonderful she was because everyone needs to know that it isn't an embarrassment to have to be in a motorized scooter to get around or be on disability. Life happens to us and we need to remember that it doesn't matter what others think, it's how strong we are to get through the battle of everyday. She has to go through so many surgeries because she is missing the cartilage in her hips and other joints, had a stroke, fractured her upper femur. 

She was a travelling nurse. She has huge plans to go back to work. I can say I may have only known her for that one hour, but I will NEVER forget her.

She told me that her daughter wants to be a chef, and she's a great cook! She wants to travel the world and whenever her mother told her that she'll meet a great man who can take her across the world, she said that she refuses to go unless her mother can go with her. She said that she'd do anything to make it so that her mother can go with her. 

I don't know if there are more than I can count on one hand of the people who've impacted my life and my not even knowing them. 

She is my hero.

Rain from Heat

There are some things in life that you definitely cannot take for granted.

A sense of one's self.

A rightness in your place in the world.

A delicious one of a kind Dr. Pepper.

Other than that you are free to do as you please and to exist as you please. There are few things in this life that you can take for granted and then there are things in life that we all take too seriously.

I am watching the movie According to Greta and I absolutely love it. Through all of Greta's antics and the constant angst filled one liners that she comes up with completely hit home and show me just how much worse my life could be if I didn't have the people in my life. If I didn't have my medical issues.

Life is too damn short to go around complaining about things that are outside your control, within your control, and things to not be complained about.

If we could all just realize that this life is not a Big Effin' Deal, we would be much better off and there would be far less violence, anger, and depression in the world.

But telling someone to chill out is like telling someone to stop breathing, that shit isn't going to happen.

So, I leave you with a thought tonight, Why the hell do we all worry so much about things that are outside our control and not fight against the things in our life, whatever they may be, that we can control, instead of letting life kick the shit out of us until there is nothing in the life left worth fighting for?

Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up

I lost a friend and I miss your face

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501683448;

I miss you Kyle. More than I think you'll understand. 6-25-83 to 7-19-11; only 28. Far to young.

I know you have plans God, but I would love my friend back. We all would. I know its not possible, but at least i know his a guardian angel now.

It's that time again...

Do you ever sit and stare at your computer? Wonder where in the hell your keys are? Trying to figure out which asshole stole your coffee?

Me neither. I am just at that point again in the night where the meds have kicked in and my brain has kicked out of quiet mode and into speedtrack WWF on acid.

I am so freaking tired. I wish there was an off button to my brain that would allow me to get the proper amount of sleep. Instead, I'm up late, watching television trying my best to get my brain to slip into a stupor so that I can sleep.

But first, I must watch an episode of MisFits to find out what in the hell is so special about it.

Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up

To A Fault

Do you ever look at a situation and wonder what you could have done better to control the outcome?
I know I have. 
I have started writing a new novel. It seems that all I do is start novels, but I never end up finishing them. I believe, under my wobbly memory, that I have written over 20 separate and distinctly unique novels.
I love to write. HENCE, this blog. What I love even more? Finishing a damn novel. 


The whole time that I have considered myself a writer I have always had something that got in the way to finishing a novel. 


Usually, I have something come up in my life that distracts the writer in me and then I end up with too much time between my writing sessions. So, I just set the manuscript aside and move on with my life.


This time, I hope I can finally finish one. We'll see how it goes.


Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up

What do you mean you CAN"T give me my ####### money back?

I just love my job.

I had to throw that out there. Despite being cussed out, yelled at, and being blamed for everything under the sun; it's the awesome and patient customers who keep me going. Right now, it's kind of 50/50 on the types of customers I deal with.

I appreciate people calling in because they are the reason I have a job, but I just wish everyone would take a DEEP breath and realize that: Yes I work for this company and no, I really didn't do this to you and it has been out of my control until you called me, but I will take responsibility because when it boils down everyone just wants someone to blame.

I have called call centers before. I get it. I have TOTALLY been in your shoes before. But, take a second and put yourself in my shoes. Thusly:

          I am only some random stranger you called. I do not have magic powers to correct what has happened to you. I can work to the best of my ability and knowledge to fix this problem. If I can't fix it, I will find someone who can. This I PROMISE you. So please, for the love of God, be patient with me because it takes time to look up all of your information so that I can properly assist you. I may not have magic powers but I do my best to take care of ALL of my customers equally (equally= above and beyond).

I develop special connection with my customers. I feel personally responsible for your happiness when you get off the phone with me. I ALWAYS do my best.

And to top it all off, a new friend I made at the call center has quit. I feel so bad. She left after receiving a call that apparently the customer cut her down so far she was in tears and she quit.

I'm going to miss my new friend. I just found her on facebook.

That's all I've got tonight. I'm singing to In the Arms of the Angel: Sarah McLachlan

The Days That precede Days

I had to drop my English technical writing course . It is a little discouraging since I really enjoyed the class. I just hope that I don't get charged with the cost of the class and that it gets dropped from my record.

But with the financial aid hold, I am not going to have it dropped in time to get a hold of the money to pay out my expenses. I decided it better to drop the class that struggle while I am working so many hours to make sure that I get to keep my apartment.

I really love this job. It is something that I love to do. I have only worked in customer service positions and it is what i love to do. I love to help people and make their lives more enjoyable and easier to live. I will strive to do everything I can to make sure that every customer I meet learns from our communication that I AM there to help them and that I DO understand their issues and concerns and DO Care.

Bad Decisions

I can't believe that I have acted the way I have. I deserve to be slapped. HARD. I hate that I have hurt him. I should know better. I shouldn't have gotten so attached so quickly. I freaked out.

I'm not ready. That I feel 100% about.

All I can say is I'm an asshole. I shouldn't have gotten into the relationship without completely thinking it through first.

I should have known better.

I would normally put my tagline here. But tonight I just don't feel it. I'm not good enough for it.

Ahh. School You Tricky Devil You've Found Me Again

So I had to start a blog for a class I am taking this summer. We shall see how it goes. I am excited for it. It looks like a lot of time will be put into this and taken up, but I hope to balance it well with my new job.

ORIENTATION ON FRIDAY

SO FREAKING EXCITED.

Here I Sit

So, there has been quite a bit that has happened since my last post. I know that no one reads my posts, but I will post anyway. It's nice to have a good outlet from time to time.

I got cleared by my apartment complex for a medical needs cat, or one that a doctor has signed off for me to get. I know that sentence sounds weird and every time I bring it up in conversation people ask me if I am going to get a cat with medical needs. That's a NO. I am torn between a couple of different friendly felines.

I have been going to the shelter to play with the animals and love on them. I am mostly trying to do my part and help these helpless animals get some love and attention. I hate to see them all locked up in cages like they are. I would love to be able to take them all home with me. But, alas, I cannot. Not until I move into another apartment. My current, or one of, roommates is highly allergic to cats. One cannot stand them, and the other, well, I don't know her too well since she just moved in.

She strikes me as someone who would be kind to the animal but not all that receptive. Anyhoo. Here are some pictures:

This is Radar, 1yo, M, very sweet

These two are F, 3mo and 2mo, respectively; Snuggles and Jenny.

This is Domino, 3yo, M, super lovey (aka attention HOG).

I don't remember this one's name. I'm going to call him Dr. Who. 2yo, M, lovable but not good with other animals.

This cat is Mr. Bigglesworth; he is my favorite. He's 6yo, M, and makes a funny noise to get your attention. It's not a normal meow. It's more like EUGHHHN. He's AWESOME.

This is Maggie. She's 8mo, super sweet and she wraps her paw around your finger and gently scratches to show her love back, otherwise, she just sits there and looks at ya.

I really like them all. I am aiming for a M, between 1 and 3yo. But, If I get really attached to one of the other animals I will go outside my comfort zone for them.

Oh and did I mention that when you scratch Mr. Bigglesworth's ears or chin for a fair amount of time he starts to drool. And then proceeds to shake his head, thus, covering you in slobber :D

I spent friday night in the emergency room with a friend. Turns out she had kidney stones. I can totally relate to that as I have gone through passing them. Her's were obviously large and obstructing. She was so violently physically ill that I had to take her in. They got it figured out and she was discharged almost 3 hours after I left her with her mother.

I am anxiously awaiting my job orientation on friday. I can't wait to start working again. I hate not having something to do. That is why I signed up for a summer class. It's a technical writing intensive course but I think I will do just fine. I love to write.

It's 3 AM and I'm going to go finish my movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry". Have a wonderful rest of your day and happy memorial day to everyone.

Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up

Don't You Just Hate It When . . .

Don't you just hate it when you sit on the internet and you sit with a good book and you hope that maybe that good book is going to come out as a movie. I do. I have an obsession with the House of Night (HoN). I love the plot lines, twists, and characters. Personally, I think that they should make the language of the book a little more grown up because really who says poopie? or bullpoopie? Come on the other characters come right out and say it. Shit or bullshit!

Anyways. There was news rumbling through the grapevine that they are trying to make the novel series into a movie series. I wish they would go ahead and get that crap moving. I love the books; I know the movies won't be exactly the same but please if they were we wouldn't go see them now would we. We'd get so damn bored we would quit going and the franchise would die without us. 

There are just some things that make it worth while to sit down and enjoy a good book. My props to P.C and Kristen Cast. Well that is all I really had to say on that matter. 

Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up

Sleep walking and Dark chocolate

There are many times in your life when you question why certain things do and do not happen to you. I try to reason everyday with my lot in life and sometimes I can't even answer myself. It is a dreadful feeling. Everything that has happened to me or that is happening to me is all for a reason. But what that reason is I have no idea. I wish there would be a billboard somewhere with everything written out and explained to me. I am tired of being in the position that I am in. I am tired of having all of my medical issues. I am tired of un-reciprocated feelings. It hurts more than anyone can understand. I am stronger than all of this. So, don't anyone worry about me jumping off the deep end and doing something selfish or stupid. I am far, far to self appreciating to do that. I am not vain because I'm not pretty enough for that idocracy, but I do like myself far too much to throw it away. What I do want is that just once in my life something can go my way that is something that will make my life more enjoyable. I'd love for someone in my life who makes my day brighter just for existing. Someone who doesn't judge me, hate me, or look at me with sad/judging/disgusted looks. I may not be the ideal woman, but dammit I AM WHO I AM
Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up

It's only 12 minutes late

I just read about the southwest airlines pilot who held a flight for a grandfather who was on his way to see his grandson pulled from lifesupport after being brutally attacked by his mother's live in boyfriend. My heart goes out to this family who lost someone so young so early. But, I know that I myself am very proud of the pilot for realizing that there are somethings that are more important that arriving at the airport 5 minutes early.

end of my rant. my UBER sensitive touch pad mouse is about to drive me up a wall,

Good Night Stay Strong and Speak Up